Grinch Hunting- day nineteen

Poetry and Commenting

     Today is... you guessed it:

POETRY SATURDAY!!!

     Poetry Saturday! You know, every week you can post poems in the comments section and you will almost defiantly get your poems posted. You can also post comments telling me how to make my blog better. I am happy to improve my blog the way you want it too.

     One more thing- it seems at least one of you four told your friends about this blog (see Grinch Hunting, day twelve), and now I'm getting a steady bit more posts every day (within a minute after I post, too). 

     Well, without further ado, we have: 

POETRY SATURDAY!!!

The Amazing Grinch Hunter

BY ORANGE NOSTRIL

The Amazing Grinch Hunter

Always knows what he is doing.

Whether if it's going to space,

To get a laser gun,

Or relating to Grinch Hunting Day 5!

He truly is awesome.

When you see him shoot his gun.

He's able to track Grinches down,

Like he did a couple of days ago.

He even figured out, how long it will take!

He's so super cool,

And also pretty hot.

Perhaps pretty soon,

He'll fly out to space.

He'll get a laser gun,

And blast back to earth.

And jump on a Grinch,

And pull out it's heart.

And tear off it's limbs,

And unscrew it's head,

And finish him off

With a big laser gun!

He'll sell the parts to

People everywhere.

He will make so much money

And be super cool,

To have acutally hunted...

A GRINCH!!!!

Yeah.

     Whoa, I'm good at poetry. I should probably make the next two poem shorter, though. 

     I kinda liked that poem, though it seemed kind of like an ad.

     Yep, definitely an ad.

Grinch Hunting- day eighteen

Grinch Found!!!

     Today I decided that since nobody has told me about their Grinch sightings I will find them myself!

     On...

     Well searching on Google I found some good things, and I found this: 

The Grinch sighted in Elora, Ontario

     Well guess what? Now I'm searching for plane tickets to Elora, Ontario.

     Now I just found this: http://www.rome2rio.com. 

     Now, I looked it up and it will take two days, seven hours, and ten minutes. Now I'm seriously starting to consider if it will be worth it. I'll tell you next time if I decide to go, or if I'm there. 

Grinch Hunting- day seventeen

Poetry Makeup Day

   Crap, I forgot to do...

Poetry Saturday!!! 

     Last Saturday. Well, the votes were 2:0, and I even got one poem to share, so here it is.

Your mom is cool,

She likes to eat.

She drives in cars,

And eats at kitchen bars.

     That poem reminds me of my first poem. It goes like this:

4-Square

Four square is fun,

A sandwich in a bun.

Four square is best,

It wins every test.

     Okay, even though only one person posted a poem in the comments section when I asked everyone to, I still promised to share three poems today (yesterday). Well, let's make the last one about Grinch Hunting. Looking on the internet, I found something good. Here it is:

Mr. Grinch 

Your a mean one,

Mr. Grinch.

You really are a heel.

You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel,
Mr. Grinch.
You're a bad banana with a...

 greasy black peel!

You're a monster,

Mr. Grinch.   

You're heart's an empty hole.

You're brain is full of spiders,

You've got Garlic in you're soul,

 Mr. Grinch.

I Wouldn't touch you with a...

39 1/2 foot pole!

You're a  foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You're a nasty wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,
Mr Grinch.

The three best words that best describe you,
Are as follows, and I quote"
Stink!
Stank!
Stunk!

You're a rotter Mr Grinch
You're the king of sinful sots
Your heart's a dead tomato squashed with moldy purple spots
Mr Grinch

Your sole is a appalling dump heap
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr Grinch
With a noxious super-naus
You're a crooked jerky jockey and,
You drive a crooked horse
Mr Grinch!

You're a three-decker sauerkraut
And toadstool sandwich,
With arsenic sauce!

     That... is the perfect description of a Grinch that I've been looking for. You're heart's a dead tomato squashed with moldy purple spots! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Uh, I mean... lol.

 

 

Grinch Hunting- day sixteen

Something Awesome

     Okay I told you I was coming back, and don't worry, I think I am. Something even more awesome is coming. It will be there soon. It may or may not be about Grinch Hunting, so, I am going to Grinch Hunt today. 

     Today I thought: If I want a missile why don't I type in 'www.missle.com' and see what happens? So I did. I got a weird looking page that was a big categorized list. The categories were:

Chat & Dating
Career and Education
Transportation
Computers and Technology
Entertainment and Arts
Travel
Buisness and Finance
Shopping & Gifts
Home & Lifestyle
Astrology & Psychic
Wholesale & Auction
Games
Health & Fitness
Weight Loss
Free Everything 

     Now, I have a number of things to say to that. First of all, what the heck does weight loss got to do with missiles!? Or dating!? Some of the things looked helpful for a minute, like shopping, or maybe career, until I saw the subcategories under each. 

     I think I'll just give up for the day.

Grinch Hunting- day fifteen

Honesty

     I'm sorry I haven't been posting recently (again) (again) but I literally went to England for a week and didn't get back till noon yesterday. Have I ever lied to you on this blog? Even once? (Seriously, I haven't lied to you once on this blog. I bet you can't even tell me one time on this blog I've lied to you. You probably will, but I will respond to any comment explaining why whatever was not a lie. That last statement was not a lie either.) I have not.

     Well. Maybe I should come back with something drastic to make up for the week I missed. I'll get back to y'all viewers later. By then I will probably have something AWESOME to come back to you with.

SOMETHING AWESOME!!!

Yeah!!!

     Well, see ya then.

Grinch Hunting- day fourteen

Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

     It's Saturday again!!!

POETRY SATURDAY!!!

     Darn it's only Friday. Well, TGIF, I guess. (Why!)  

     Well, it HAS been fourteen days of Grinch hunting and I haven't had a grilled cheese sandwich until today. They sure are tasty, even when slightly burnt. Did you know there are (apparently) three ways to make a grilled cheese sandwich? Well there are. It says so on Wikipedia. See, right here.

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Grilled-Cheese-Sandwich!!!!!!!

     I bet you can't tell me one time Wikipedia has been wrong.

Grinch Hunting- day thirteen

Results

     Wow, somebody's a new fan of this blog. Ten comments in one day. Plus I seemed to have gotten 39 page reviews today, and I haven't even posted yet...

until now.

     Anyways, looking through my comments... looks like somebody else wants me to do Poetry Saturday. Funny comment last Saturday. Well, the results are in and it's 2:0. So I will continue to do Poetry Saturday. Also... looking at the same comment... I got one poem!!! You can look at it in the comments, but I'm not going to put it up here until Saturday. Unless three more poems come that are better than it. Better post soon. (Post on Grinch Hunting- day eleven.) Right before I post next Saturday I'm going to look at and judge all of the poems there. If you don't like the poem that's there, just the more reason to post one up, so you can beat it and have me not post it. 

     I'll go back to Grinch Hunting tomorrow.

Grinch Hunting- day twelve

Voting

     Wow, I'm sorry from yesterday. I didn't realize the type didn't turn white as it's supposed to. Oh well, I fixed it so you can read yesterday's post now too. I actually had to turn the type white. You can still comment on yesterday since you didn't read big parts of it, I see. Anyways, I'm still seriously going to post three of your poems. I'll have it be preferably about Grinches or Grinch hunting, but I guess it doesn't really have to be, if that's what stopping you from sending in poems (for more information, look at Grinch hunting, day eleven).

     It's Sunday today, and if any of you haven't seen Grinch Hunting- day four, then you won't know that I don't hunt for Grinches on Sunday. So, about my blog. Using my supreme power as blog owner, I have seen that at least four people look at it. I'm assuming that they are the four same people. Tell me if I'm right. Actually, as I fixed the color five minutes ago, looking right now... two people have already looked at it. More people look at it, but not on a daily bases. Once I got fifty. Anyways, tell your friends, because I'm trying to get more. I'll tell you if it improves.

Grinch Hunting- day eleven

Poems

    Wow, is it Saturday already?

POETRY SATURDAY!!!

    I told you I was seriously going to do this Poetry Saturday thing if people wanted me to. I got one comment that day from Neth110 saying ‘Woooo’, which I take for a yes. If you want me to not do this next week, say no. If you want me to continue, say ‘yes’ or I guess a ‘wooo’ would suffice. I’m going to compare, and counting the ‘wooo’ from last week, I’m going to tally the votes and tell you the results tomorrow, so comment below.

    Anyways, like I promised: POETRY SATURDAY!!!

Grinch Hunting

Delicate process.

Only for pros and bloggers.

Totally awesome.

Grinches

Hideously green,

They Destroy Christmas for Whos,

And kidnap people.

    Hooray for haikus! Maybe I can do another type of poem next Saturday (depending on the vote, of course). In fact, maybe you can send in poems of your own (any type). Put them in the comments section and I’ll post three next week (again, depending on the vote). Yay poetry.

Grinch Hunting- day ten

Grinch Sightings

     Today I saw something green. Perhaps it was a Grinch! Apparently it was just a flashlight. A solar powered flashlight. Pretty cool, eh. 

     Thinking about it, there have been little to no times I've seen a Grinch. I'll try to think of all the few times I have seen a Grinch, and you tell me the number of Grinches you've seen and where. Maybe I can go hunt them there. I'll do it for free, because, like I said yesterday, I can make a lot of money off of a Grinch. In fact, adding it up, considering all of the variables, I could make about four hundred and eighty one dollars for each fully intact Grinch. 

     Actually, if I'm planning to sell all of the Grinches I capture, I'll need to think over my whole laser gun plan. Darn, I had it all thought out and everything. I did so much to get that laser gun! (See Grinch Hunting- day three.) Oh well, maybe I will have to go the eight minutes to 'Mr. Guns- Guns and Ammo' to get regular human guns. How distasteful.

Grinch Hunting- day nine

Grinch Parts

     Today I am hungry. Although it's only 8:30 AM, I still haven't eaten anything all day. Maybe I should go eat some breakfast now.

*   *   *

     Okay, I'm back now. I just had some toast, and I'm feeling good.

     Anyways, Grinch hunting. I have recently been wondering what I will do when I kill a Grinch. At first I thought- simple- blast it to smithereens! (See Grinch Hunting- day five.) However, I soon began to wonder... what will one buy for Grinch blood, or a Grinch heart (see Grinch Hunting- day eight)- it would go well in some soups. So I'm making a list of what I will get from a Grinch and how much it would probably be worth.

• Grinch blood... $30 a gallon.
• Grinch ears... $4000 an ear.
• Grinch boogers... $-12 a nostril.
• Grinch heart... $1 per heart.
• Grinch saliva,,, $15 per spit.
• Grinch fat... $4 per fat Grinch.
• Grinch foot... $35 per foot.
• Grinch limb... $5 per limb.
• Grinch screw-on head... $50 per head.

     That's about everything. Of course, there are a few problems for a few of the things, like how Grinches don't have ears, and how their acid-spit will need to be sold to the army to get $15 out of it, but besides that, I'm pretty good off. 

     Now all I need to do is to catch a Grinch.

Grinch Hunting- day eight

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

     Today is Sunday again, and like last week, I'm not going to be Grinch Hunting Today. I know the date says 'Saturday, July 12th, but I had to fix something. However, I can still be talking and thinking and craving about Grinches, though. I bet some of you have started to wonder what is a Grinch, despite my background repeating picture. Well, if you haven't read 'How the Grinch Stole Grinches' then you should. It will be a perfect example of those smelly green Grinches always trying to do things like destroy Christmas. 

     Do you know the actual ending of that book? Well I'll tell you. In the real end, when he heart grows, it explodes, destroying the Grinch and blasting the sleigh of presents of the cliff. Do you know why the Grinch's heart exploded? It exploded because Grinches naturally have a small and therefore worthless heart full of evil. When his heart grew it burst his rib cage and made a small explosion. Actually, in the end, the explosion caused an avalanche and crushed the city.

     Anyways, that's what a Grinches is. If you find one: run, let me hunt them, and never try to give it actual emotions if you plan to survive. Those Whos should've let their presents be pushed over the cliff.

Grinch Hunting- day seven

  Poetry Saturday

     To bad it's not Sunday today, because I feel like not Grinch Hunting Today. Maybe Saturday can be Poetry Saturday.

POETRY SATURDAY!!!

yay!

     Nah, sounds stupid. In the comments section, why don't you tell me just how stupid this sounds, because if y'all find this to be a good idea, I just might just might just might do it. But if y'all think like me then you will say 'no' in the comments section. You can say a simple 'no'. Or a bit more polite 'I think you shouldn't', or you can be like most people on the internet and say 'That's the #%%$# worst @#$#@# idea I've even %$^#@ heard'. I hope you stick to a bit more polite version, though.

Grinch Hunting- day six

  Posting

     Again, I''m so sorry that I have not been posting. I had to go on a two day car trip to Utah! I spend about five days and I've been going long times without internet connections. I will try to post more- two to seven times at a week, but not eight times. If I post eight times a week chances are I will be tracked down by Grinches and I don't have my laser gun quite yet.
     Once I get a laser gun everything will change, though. If I get a laser gun...

If I get a laser gun

If I get a laser gun,

Everything will change,

If I get a laser gun, 

I will go on a range,

To hunt for Grinches

Every second of every day,

and rip the Grinches apart,

and show them 

that this is not a terrible and pointless blog.

AND THE END OF ALL GRINCHES WILL OCCUR!!!

 I hope.

 

Grinch Hunting- day five

Killing Grinches

     I'm sorry for not posting recently. I was kidnapped  by Grinches when I was trying to hunt them. I tried and tried to free myself from the ropes that bound my to the wooden post inside their cave. I tried to silently free my hand from the ropes so I could cut myself free. I tried for a day and a half before I could painfully rip my hand from the impossibly tight ropes. I reached for my knife for the rest of the day, at least, for it was hard to tell time in the cave.
     Eventually I was free! I jumped up and grabbed my laser gun, but the Grinches were gone. Then, suddenly, the Grinches attacked me from behind! I was knocked down, but I was able to turn and shoot them into dust. When I came out of the cave I realized that I hadn't been posting for multiple days! I figured the only thing I could do was to explain what happened and hope you'd understand.
     Either that happened, or I just forgot. But what are the chances that that's what happened...

Grinch hunting- day four

Not Grinch Hunting

      Today I decided not to go Grinch hunting on Sundays, for moral and sanity reasons. The moral reasons I've decided to do it, is because this is church day and stuff. The sanity reasons I don't do it is something nobody knows, for I'm probably insane. Anyways, today I ate seven pizzas. Or did I? I'm very mysterious that way.
     Oh well, since I'm not Grinch hunting, want to check out my awesome video? It it about Grinch hunting. I actually kill a Grinch and record it. I did it today!!!

HERE' THE LINK TO SEE THE VIDEO

     Ha, ha. It was actually not Grinch hunting! I told you I don't hunt Grinches on Sunday!!! I can't believe you fell for that. Anyways, comment on YouTube or this blog if you have something to say about my little trick. He, he, he. However, subscribe if you liked it or not. Anyways, I've almost published another video too. 

     Watch it,

     Like it,

     Subscribe to it.

     Ha, I sound like a Bop-it.

Grinch Hunting- day three

Applying for NASA

     Okay, as you all know, I'm having trouble buying weapons online, and I don't feel like going anywhere to get one, so, perhaps I should try using something else. Maybe, instead of going the eight minutes to the nearest gun store (eight minutes, looked it up), I could go the seven light-years till a find a planet with laser guns!!! Everyone knows that seven is less than eight under any circumstances. Just see Shel Silverstein's amazing poem 'Smart'. It goes like this:

 

My dad gave me one dollar bill

'Cause I'm his smartest son,

And I swapped it for two shiny quarters

'Cause two is more than one!

My dad gave me one dollar bill

'Cause I'm his smartest son,

And I swapped it for two shiny quarters

'Cause two is more than one!

Just then, along came old blind Bates

And just 'cause he can't see

He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,

And four is more than three!

And I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs

Down at the seed-feed store,

And the fool gave me five pennies for them,

And five is more than four!

And then I went and showed my dad,

And he got red in the cheeks

And closed his eyes and shook his head--

Too proud of me to speak!

     You see my point? Under any circumstances. Therefore, I guess I should order a rocket. So I looked it up on Google Shops. I typed in spaceship, but, like on the 19th, all I got was completely unrelated stuff like stupid spaceship inner tubes, or T shirts!!! I was enraged. Maybe I could get a rocket from another distant planet, but then again, how will I get there? It was like the entire world was against me, and I wanted to blow it up, with all of those stupid Grinches with it. 

     Then it came to me; maybe I should join NASA! I quickly went back to Google and typed in 'how to apply for NASA'. It WORKED!!! The fourth result was exactly what I needed! It brought me to the NASA website, and there was a link on the page that said 'If you've graduated from college or are in the military, and you're ready to apply, here's how.'

     Okay, so I haven't graduated from college and I'm not in the military. I was sure they'd understand, though, once I told them I just wanted to kill Grinches, so I clicked the link.

Grinch Hunting- day two

Shopping for Missiles

     Okay, today I figured that if I keep rambling on like I did yesterday I am going to have no people reading this blog. So, today, I went on Amazon to shop for weapons. I figured perhaps I could get somebody else who is 18 years or older (see Grinch Hunting- Day 1) could be convinced to order for me. 

     So, anyways, I went to Amazon, and searched 'missiles' in all departments. The first three results were just books about missiles, but, on the fourth result, I saw it. Revell Monogram USA/USSR Missile Set. It was perfect!!! Well, it was until I looked closer, and saw that it was 'Revell Monogram USA/USSR Missile Set Plastic Model Building Kit'. I was so sad I almost cried. 

     I didn't give up, though. I searched missiles again, but this time in the Electronics section. The first result was a dream come true. It was more like a 'Dream Cheeky 908 Thunder Missile Launcher NR Electronic Reference Device', because that's what it was!!! I was so excited!!! It was even the full name of the object- in the electronics section!!! I opened it up to have a closer look, and I saw it was USB powered, and shot foam missiles. I didn't know what to say! 

     Oh well, I guess I can try again tomorrow. By the way, did you like my poem from the other day? I though it up on the spot. That's the gift of a true poet.

Grinch hunting- day one:

Procrastination

     Today I ate a sandwich. It tasted like mozzarella cheese and ham. That's because that's what was in it. Did you know that ham comes from pigs. Well it does, just like milk comes from bats. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: 'Hey, milk comes from cows, not bats!' Well...

READ BIOLOGY LOSERS!!!!

     One of the characteristics of all mammals is that they provide milk for their young. Bats are mammals. So are platypuses, amazingly. Did you know that when platypuses milk their young the mother lies on her back and lets the milk ooze out through their skin, which the baby platypuses lick clean from the mother. Well, it's true.
     Now, I know that you want me to start hunting Grinches, but I don't have the giant weapons yet. I should order them soon. Unfortunately, you must be 18 or older to order. You need to be 18 or older to order anything now- even those Stompies. You know those animal slippers in which their ears fly up if you stomp on them? They even had their own tune when they were showing the commercials. Stomp-stomp-stomp, stomp-Stompies. But, if you've seen that commercial you would also know that at the end when they talk impossibly fast they end with saying: 'You must be 18 years or older to order.'
     Man, now I wish I had a time machine so I can go forward a bunch of years to when I'm 18 years or older, so I can order.

How I wish I had a time machine

Oh, how I wish I had a time machine,

for if I did,

I would go into the future

and by dangerous guns 

to shoot Grinches with.

And they will wither in pain

as I hose them with bullets,

and I will finally have

something decent to blog about.